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The Velvet Garrote
Thursday, February 23, 2006
  FAMILY-TIED AS EVER :: Henry Chalise


For T. C. R.

You know I'd cry a million tears
and think a thousand thoughts
and die a hundred times
for you.

You know my heart's rotten
because you won't die
because cars can crash and kill you
because I'll never know &
because I wasn't there
so you won't be forgotten.

And we died on that icy hardtop together
family-tied as ever
I went with you though my heart
refused & refuses to stop
you know it pumps of spite.

And I said,
words never counted
yet no longer do.

And you stood to say,
“cunts cocksuckahs mothahfuckahs & whoahs
--bitches--
lookit these bastahds galoah!”

And I said,
words never counted
yet no longer do.

So did I wonder:
why wander
oh mind of mine?
not focus & stabilize,
realize things can be fine?
doesn't it lead to points unworthy
and dreams unlikely?
don't things lose sense
can't you just stop and like me?

And at that junction
yesterday or wasn't it last year
things began to make sense
yeah after she left
after you left too
I took to taking life
in the present-most tense.

You know into the unknown
I'm forever headed
because when my beard grows
it'll be gray
and when the wind blows
I think of you
every last undeserved day.

And you stopped to say,
man I'm joining the marines
man this girl, she's all mine
man I'm loyal to you, to my family
man this life, it's all mine
man I'm great, to be admired
man this doesn't need saying, it's true
that's why I never did.

So did I wonder,
am forever wondering:
why the fuck
did death take
you in my stead?


BIO: Henry Chalise is lampshadian-in-chief and editor of The Lampshade. His credits include DISPATCH and [insert presitigious print magazine here].
 

3 Comments:

Anonymous Vicky said...

Wow, this is really sad. Did your friend die or something?

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paul, this is intense writing my man. I miss him as well, every day! Todd was my protege, and still I feel I learned more from him than he always told me he had from me! Thank you for being one of the few, that really remember him, that knew him! I miss my little brother!

Robbie

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Brittany Goodwin said...

this is incredible writing.
about such a remembered guy..

11:01 AM  

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